11 Ways To Be Happier

Happy International Happiness Day!

If you’ve never heard about this day, you’re not alone. I have only recently learned that there was such a day as International Happiness Day, but I instantly liked the idea. We are always in search of happiness, all of us. People do things looking for happiness, people buy things thinking it will make them happy. And too often we forget that happiness is right inside of us, we just have to tap into it, open that door.

What is Happiness?

The word happiness comes from the Greek concept of eudaimonia, literally meaning ‘the good life’. In psychology, however, happiness is described as a state of well-being that is positive or pleasant.

Happiness means different things to different people, we all have a different understanding and measurement of happiness. For many it’s the quality of life, their financial wellness or the fulfillment of their desires. For those, who have been unfortunate with their health or been in dangerous situations, happiness is being alive and well. For others, it is being surrounded with family, or doing the things they love. Whatever that is, we all have our own ways to define and measure whether we’re happy or not.

Happiness lies within

We tend to associate happiness with the financial wellness. It is especially common to associate wealthy people with happy people among those who are less well off financially. There’s a belief that money has it all. But when you think about it, how much happiness can money really buy?

Can money buy you health? Hardly. It can be of great help in making healthier choices, but the truth is you don’t have to pay extra to make those choices. You don’t have to buy ‘superfoods’ to have a healthy diet, and you don’t have to pay for a gym membership to be fit. Plus, the best things in life are free.

Money also can’t buy you a family, or friends. I mean, you could probably attract people with your money, but it wouldn’t be the true healthy relationships we strive to have.

I’m not saying that money is useless, for it can give you an access to many things. But it shouldn’t be a deciding factor. In the end of the day, things are just things, their effect on happiness is usually short-lived. Only few things in life actually grant you a long-term happiness associated with them, and they are usually big and thought-through investments.

But the best things in life are free. They are you’re family, friends, small things that you enjoy: laughing till your belly hurts, smiling, walking in the sunshine, a relaxing shower after a long day (unless you live in Australia), dancing like no one is watching, etc.

It’s not particular things that make us happy, it’s our attitude towards them, the feelings that they trigger. There are way more non-material things that trigger that feeling. We are just usually so caught up chasing something ephemeral that we forget to live here and now. We forget how to be happy here and now. We put happiness on hold, waiting for a happy day to come and brand the present day as something negative because we’re not ‘there’ yet. We dwell on the past, or live for the future, we concentrate on the negative, all the while forgetting that happiness is within us. We just need to open the door.

Happiness is not a destination, It’s a Journey.

10 Ways to Be Happier

1. Let go of the past

It can be hard sometimes to let go of what is gone but had been so treasured. But they say that sometimes holding on does more damage than letting go. I believe it to be true. You cannot change the past or bring back what is gone but you can change your present and your future. By holding on you miss that chance and waste your time. You are denying yourself happiness and life. So stop dwelling, accept the fact that what is gone is gone, forgive yourself and others, or thank the stars for having what you’ve had, and move on. Life is happening right here right now. Live it.

2. Let go of worries and negative feelings

Be a warrior, not a worrier. Just like with dwelling on the past, or even living for the future, for that matter, worrying about things and giving in to negative feelings, thoughts and hatred is just a waste of precious time. It can be frustrating sometimes because you never know what life has in store for you, but worrying about anything does not change the situation. Just like hating someone for something that’s been done does not change the fact that it has been done. If you can’t change something, there’s no point in wasting time. Accept the past and forgive, or accept the unknown, accept the fact that some things don’t depend on you, and move on.

3. Live in the present

What else could I possibly add to this statement? Don’t waste your life away, pay attention to here and now as that is where all the good things are happening. If you find that your mind wanders off to often, try practicing mindfulness or mediation. Sit still for a moment, close your eyes and focus only on your breath. As you quiet down to the rythm of your own breath, start noticing things around you but don’t open your eyes just yet. Tune in your other feelings and senses of the world around you: smells, sensations in each and every part of your body. Finally, open your eyes and look around. Notice the things that you don’t usually notice. Find the beauty in them and smile. Now doesn’t last long. Make it count.

4. Enjoy the little things

This is my top intention this month. The little things can bring much more happiness than the big things, and yet we tend to focus on the big things. The little things in life now go unnoticed. We drink tea or coffee just for the sake of waking up or having a break and not for the sake of enjoying that tea. Japanese priest Eisai once wrote that ‘tea is the ultimate mental and medical remedy and it has the ability to make one’s life more full and complete’. Use this remedy to bring the little things back into your life and start enjoying more of the little things. They matter much much more than it sounds.

5. Be grateful

We don’t treasure things until we lose them. Why not start treasuring them now? Make a list of 3-5 things you’re grateful for each day and see how it brings more joy and purpose into your life. Things are not even half as bad as we tend to imagine.

6. Be kind

Kindness is a wonderful thing. When you do kind things to others, it returns to you. Maybe, not always in the way we think it will return, but it does return. Just lower your expectations and do kind things just because you can, genuinely, without looking for a payback. It brings so much joy and happiness! Just one kind smile can make a difference in somebody else’s day as well as in yours.

7. Expect less

This kind of sums up the last few paragraphs and yet I feel it deserves its own place on the list. Our expectations are partly responsible for all the disappointment in life. We expect too much, whether it’s from other people, from ourselves or from life in general. Although it’s important to always try and do your best, setting the expectations too high almost inevitably leads to disappointment and discouragement. Lower the bar a little, and things will get better.

8. Simplify your life

This topic deserves a special attention and I promise to discuss it later, but long story short – we overcomplicate our lives by having too many possessions which serve no purpose, too many contacts that serve no purpose, we say yes too much – to things we don’t really want to do. Keeping it simple and minimalistic improves your workflow, your mood and well-being. It clears up space, whether physical or psychological, which is normally cluttered with useless stuff. It lets you focus on important things, it lets you breathe with ease. And remember, it’s not the quantity that matters, it’s the quality.

9. Learn to set goals

Too often we feel unhappy because we feel unfulfilled. And the feeling of being unfulfilled often comes from the lack of planning and goal-setting. If we do not have specific goals, we cannot achieve them. Correctly set goals must be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-related. They also must be worded in a positive manner. So you don’t want to ‘stop eating junk’, you want to ‘start eating healthy’. When you set those goals right, when you put it on paper and devise a plan, then in time you can see your progress and realise that you have control over your life and you can fulfil your desires. It just comes down to believing in yourself and working towards those goals no matter what.

10. Make time for relationships

People are divided into two groups: extroverts and introverts. According to which one of these we are, our social needs differ greatly. Introverts tend to shy away from big crowds and spend most of their time alone, while extroverts are always out socialising. But no matter which one you are, all people are social creatures. We simply need to be with other people at one time or another, to share our thoughts and feelings, to get help or simply not be alone. There has been a lot of studies done, and researchers agree that people who have relationships live longer and tend to be healthier, both physically and mentally, because relationships with other people decrease stress levels, increase your immunity and lower the blood pressure. Psychologists agree that we need to belong to someone, we need to bond, and this ultimately improves our well-being, which is directly linked to happiness.

11. Make time for yourself, too

Self-care is extremely important. You can never feel truly happy if you don’t make time for yourself. You need time on your own, to clear your head, reflect or do the things you like. Doing your favourite things is a proven way to boost your happiness.

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It takes a change of the mindset to understand that joy and happiness are all around use, we’re just so blind that we do not see. If we open our minds and open our heart, if we let it all in, we can become happier almost instantly, no matter where we are in our lives.

You will be exactly as happy as you decide to be.

Happy Happiness Day!

Lana x